7.24.2008

GQ, Ciudad Juarez and Women

The boyfriend's latest GQ arrived yesterday, and I flipped through as eagerly as I do Bust. The first article I came across was titled "Mexico's Red Days" and covered the recent spate of murders that has plagued Ciudad Juarez since January. Having grown up in El Paso, the American town just accross the Rio Grande from Juarez, I took an interest.

Let me start with what I liked about the article. I appreciated the nod to how violence on the border and American drug habits are connected. We always learn how terrible drugs are for you, but no one ever really takes the time to tell you how terrible drugs are for the people living in the barrios. I also liked the connection made between the maquilas (factories) run by American companies and the thriving drug-trade work pool. While it wasn't directly stated, the implication was that American's addiction to cheap labor fuels the drug trade's labor force (and in turn, our addiction to drugs). As the author states, "The main reason a U.S. company moves to Juarez is to pay lower wages. The only reason poor people in Juarez sell drugs and die is to earn higher wages. The only reason they go north is to survive."

Now what I didn't like. There is a general dismissal of the violence that took place before the killing exploded this year. The author explains how murder had reason to it before, "There was a time when death made sense in Juarez. You died because you had a drug load or because you lost a drug load. You died becuase you tried to do a deal or because you were a snitch, or because you were a poor woman and it was dark and someone thought it might be fun to rape and kill you."

Yes, the violence in Juarez is mind-boggling right now. Already, Juarez claims 500 murders and we're only half-way through the year. And yes, 500 in half a year is death on a completely different scale than before. But it's not any less reasonble. Murder never was reasonable. I particularly take issue with the final statement, which seems to imply that before the violence exploded, being kidnapped, raped, and killed could be considered a perfectly sensible occurance.

The entire time I lived in El Paso, the newspapers on both sides of the border would occasionally whisper about a rash of women being murdered. Sometimes, a celebrity would take interest, and for a few days, the whisper would turn into an outcry. Today, women still disappear. The GQ article touches upon the murders and disappearances, but only to compare them with the current explosion of violence. The author implies that somehow a middle-class, light-skinned woman being kidnapped, raped, and then dumped is a more shocking crime in 2008 than when a dark skinned woman is killed in 1998 waiting for the bus to take her to the mequila where she barely makes enough to live on.

Now, I would never accuse the author of intending to dismiss these past murders, but the structure of the article, highlighting this year's dead and not the past decade's dead, is off-putting to one who grew up reading about the violence. Please don't say that death used to make sense. Death never made sense in Juarez. There is no reason for a woman to die just for going to work, even if she died in 1990 and her counterpart died in 2008.

Criticism aside, I'd like to see a woman's magazine spend some time covering the murders of Juarez women (and the current violence). I'd like for their coverage to touch on the complexity of the subject and avoid being maudlin. Any takers?

6.30.2008

Your Books Make Me Not Want to Date You

Lifehacker has a post on the books that changed their reader's lives. Now, I love Lifehacker. There's lots of great tips and tricks on there, but the chosen books read like a collection of ex-boyfriends. Let's explore this further. Click here to read the original post.

  1. The Bible - Okay, I won't take too much time here lest I offend anyone. Suffice it to say that I used to be religious, but I'm not anymore. I respect religion and those who follow it, but it's a part of my life I'm glad that I'm through with. The guys I dated who chose the Bible as their favorite book, all a little too extreme for my taste.
  2. The Works of Ayn Rand - Basically the favorite of any guy I dated who believed in open relationships and used them as an excuse for cheating. Ayn Rand creates assholes. Just sayin'.
  3. The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy - Any guy I dated who read this in high-school was a smelly hippy by the time I met them.
  4. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance - Guys I know who love this really really really wanted to be philosophy majors, but they did communications instead.
  5. The Stranger - The one book on this list that when read with caution makes for some pretty awesome dudes. I may be showing my own literary bent there, though.
  6. The Works of George Orwell - The one guy I dated who loved 1984 was a little paranoid.
  7. Stuff by Richard Dawkins - I actually haven't read any Dawkins, though I've read a lot about him. I also haven't ever dated a guy who would claim Dawkins among their favorites, but any guy who writes against belief and calls it The God Delusion sounds like kind of an asshole. Kind of on the opposite extreme to the guys who really like The Bible. I don't much care for extremes.
  8. The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings - Bonus points for me because one of my exes referred to The Lord of the Rings as the acronym TLOR and would drop it at the most random times, as in, "Man, BSG has nothing on TLOR." I liked the books as much as the next person, but super fans of these books, in my experience, tend to be not too well compelled to live outside of Middle Earth.
  9. Ender's Game - I know nothing about this book. Maybe I haven't dated the right nerd yet.
  10. Dune - The most embarrassing relationship I ever had centered around Dune. It was his favorite book, I read the whole damn thing. Fun book, yes, but not good enough for me to continue the relationship.
Other favorite books guys always mention that make me question their datability:
  1. Fight Club (same reservations apply if it's their favorite movie)
  2. On the Road, but only if they've never read any other book since then. If On the Road led to other literary discoveries, then I'm perfectly happy.
  3. Harry Potter
  4. Any book read in high school English because that probably means they stopped reading books once they graduated.
Are there any books that make you not want to date a guy (or a girl)?

6.29.2008

Can I Have Your MySpace?

I think I hit a generation gap the other day. Or maybe it was just my generally old-fashioned nature of social interaction. Let's hope. Anyway, I was attending a social event and began talking to a very cool person. We found out we had a lot in common, and she was curious about my experience in grad school (dun-dun-dun!). I asked for her phone number so we could maybe get together and talk some more, and she responded, "Are you on MySpace?"

Wait, what? Yes I'm on MySpace, and on Facebook, too, but I felt a little weird. I mean, recording phone numbers into my cell phone of people I'd like to call and make plans with seems like the best way of assuring that I will one day have coffee with a very cool person, and hopefully, make a friend. The whole MySpace as a way of finding people who are standing right in front of you thing just feels...awkward. I mean, I am right there, phone in hand, prepared to record your number and I am prepared to give you mine -- so why must you add this extra step? This step of searching, finding, adding as a friend, then communicating via e-mail.

Am I old? The person I was talking to was a bit younger than me -- though not by much. The fact that this act of making friends felt so foreign to me makes me think I might have missed something...Or maybe she didn't think I was as cool as I thought she was, and asking if I was on MySpace was a way of never ever having to see me again.

Perhaps I'm being prudish. I don't know. I just feel that if you truly want to talk to someone, you'd take their blinking phone number or give them yours, and then you could call them instead of having to search for them on MySpace. I might also just be upset that this very cool person who I would have liked as a friend made it just plain difficult to ever find her again, and that little bit of semi-rejection might be what's getting me all worked up.

6.11.2008

Backpacking is HARD

Adam took me on my first backpacking trip. I expected it to be difficult and tiring, but I did not expect pain. My goodness. I have blisters under my toenails! I didn't know that could happen. There is part of me that is sort of proud that I pushed through to the end of the hike despite the fact that my body was screaming at me, but then there's this other part of me that thinks, "Next time, let's just rent a cabin."

Will I ever do it again? I'll probably give it another shot. Adam and I have a trip planned to Algonquin Provincial Park in Canada this fall, so I better want to do it again. I think next time we'll try and hike a little less, though.

6.10.2008

Good Things

I got contacted by an old college pal through that sometimes wonderful medium known as Facebook. She wanted to thank me for a random act of kindness I don't remember, but which meant a great deal to her. She turns out to live relatively nearby and wants to go to dinner. This is one of those moments where being nice just for a moment is returning to me because I need friends right now. Detroit has made me lucky in love, but not so lucky in finding people with whom to connect. It's good to know that doing unto others as you would have them do unto you holds great truth, despite it's religious underpinnings. Yes, I'm feeling a bit mushy and sentimental, but that small thank-you was just awesome.

So, thank someone for something they did for you once, big or small, and see how good they'll feel. Ask them to dinner, too.

6.02.2008

Who Is She?

Adam and I have this obsession with our neighbor. We hear she is very high up at one of the Detroit car companies...and she's never home. When I say never, I mean never. Her lights are never on, we never see her outside, and I think I've only ever seen trash on her curbside this week - and then I only saw two small grocery bags.

The thing is, everything about her house is immaculate. For someone who is never home, she seems to put an awful lot of work into her living space. She probably has a yard service, but even with that possibility the house is still eerily perfect. Adam and I wonder what the inside is like - we think it's either really really messy or just as meticulously tidy as her yard.

It kind of weirds me out though, like she's some sort of Stepford divorcee (we learned of her marital status from another neighbor). What's amazing to me is that I care at all. When I lived in an apartment the only attention I paid to my neighbors was when they had a party, but without the annoyances of thin walls, I've suddenly started to wonder about my neighbor's lives.

Any weird neighbor stories?

5.21.2008

Uhaul Kinda Sucks

I have to publicly state that Uhaul has possibly the worst customer service ever. It all began when they decided to change my one-way rental to an in-town, round trip rental. I was assured that I wouldn't be charged more than what the one-way rate would cost. More on that later.

When I went to pick up my truck, it turns out they gave me a pick-up place an hour away from my apartment. Apparently, Uhaul customer service representatives can't search by radius to help you find the closest pick-up place. To their computers, the far edge of the next town over is close enough.

As everything thus far had not been ideal, it came as little surprise to me when my credit card statement showed that I had been overcharged. The customer service representative at Uhaul told me that I had erroneously been charged a late fee, and that I would be reimbursed. A week later, I check my credit card statement, and no reimbursement.

I call again. This time I'm told that I wasn't reimbursed because the extra charges weren't a late fee, no, they were mileage charges for my in-town, round-trip rental. The same in-town, round-trip rental that Uhaul had forced me into, and that they promised would cost me no more than the one-way rental I wanted to begin with. The polite representative gave me a complaint number and said a regional manager would call me back.

The regional manager, to be fair, was eternally polite, and reimbursed me the correct amount. The overcharges had indeed been for the extra mileage required for an in-town round-trip rental, and he put me back on track.

What pisses me off about the whole experience is that Uhaul does not give their employees the resources to handle customers. Yes, the customer service representatives are terribly polite and sometimes even chipper, but goodness, you'd think you'd let them communicate with each other about what customers should be charged. You'd also think they could search by radius to help customers find the closest location. Most of the people I spoke with sounded pretty defeated. I bet they get tons of none-too-happy customers calling. I always try to be polite to these folks, but I'm sure not everyone is.

The whole thing was just irritating. Bottom line, I will never, ever, ever rent from Uhaul again. I'd rather spend twice as much money and find a better company.

Any Uhaul horror stories of your own?